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Listen to me and midwife Maria Iorillo on KPOO radio Thurs. July 16th

Midwives and Mothers talking about Health Care Reform and how Certified Professional Midwives can be a part of the solution!

I'll be there because I've had both a hospital birth and a birth under the care of a Certified Professional Midwife. Listen to my birth story and what care I prefer and why. Plus, listen to one of the most experienced San Francisco midwives, Maria Iorillo, talk about Certified Professional Midwives and our nations health care reform.

It's this Thursday, July 16th, from 12noon to 1pm PST on Reality Sandwich, KPOO, 89.5.

Tune in on your radio if you live in San Francisco or listen from the Internet at http://www.kpoo.com/hearus.html. Click on the jukebox image on the right.

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Wisdom of Inconsistency

{Published earlier for SFGate.com/moms]

I remember my mom killing herself to keep everything equal between the three of us children. As parents, we are told that it is important to be consistent.

I was relieved to read in Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, by Dr. Sarah J. Buckley that it is okay to be inconsistent because it's human nature. Have I ever cancelled an engagement or changed my mind about something? I feel relieved because it's hard work trying to line up the way Zack does things and the way that I do them. Buckley says:

Consistency between parents is artificial and unnecessary. ...I also believe that we can have different attitudes, thresholds, and responses, yet still parent together with ease.

I no longer have that nagging voice in my head saying that I am doing this whole mothering thing wrong when I let Mikey make a huge mess with the packaging poppers one day and not let him do it again the next day. Each day is different, each moment is different. Sometimes I feel more tolerant than other times.

If I say no to another book because I am tired from a day of fun with my little bundle of joy, but papa wants to read one more, fine. I don't need to feel like we're giving in to Mikey's attempt to delay bedtime.

Mikey is learning that at different times people are willing or unwilling to oblige. Buckley says, "Our children know that we will respond differently because we are different people. We don't want them to manipulate those differences, but it's okay to do things differently."

Since I have let go of the feeling that I need to be consistent, I feel more real and honest. Inconsistency has allowed Mikey to see more of me as a person and less of me as an authoritarian mom. I hope that he is learning how to be more true to himself as well.

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Another grassroots campaign to include Certified Professional Midwives in Obama's Health Care Reform Bill

Watch this youtube to learn more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps7WANXhZXA&feature=related

The Big Push for Midwives Campaign empowers midwife advocates and moms/dads groups as they promote increased access to out-of-hospital maternity care and the Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs) who are specially trained to provide it.

Our dedicated campaigners, or "Pushers" as they are affectionately known, help to educate the people in power (at the insurance companies, in the hospital associations, in the Statehouses, and on Capitol Hill) about the reduced costs and improved outcomes associated with using out-of-hospital maternity care and Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs), who are specially trained to provide it.

The Big Push campaign works to widely share the stories of U.S. citizens who choose CPMs as their maternity care providers and the multiple benefits to society that come from fully integrating out-of-hospital birth and Certified Professional Midwives into the health care systems of our states.

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I live on a relocated cemetery

[Written previously for SFGate.com/moms]

This Friday I was alone in my apartment. Husband and 2-year old were elsewhere for the night. I had a nice night out: yoga and dinner. I cleaned up that day's breakfast and the rest of the house from 11pm to midnight. I lay in bed alone. I fell asleep and then awoke two hours later because I felt someone holding my hand. I don't think that I've slept alone, I mean really alone for two plus years. So, I thought maybe I was just imagining that Zack was in bed with me, but I woke to the same feeling every two hours until finally morning came. Much of the Richmond District was a graveyard. The Encyclopedia of San Francisco says:

Golden Gate Cemetery was created in 1868 on about 200 acres purchased by the city north of Clement between 33rd and 43rd avenues. It was also known as Clement Street Cemetery and the City Cemetery. In 1909, it was turned into Lincoln Park Golf Course. It is unknown how many remains were moved, and several hundred were discovered when the Palace of the Legion of Honor was being renovated in the 1990s.
My house was part of a housing development put on top of an old cemetery, one of "The Big Four" cemeteries. After we moved into our house and started digging in the garden, we found a large piece of a tombstone. If they forgot to remove a piece of tombstone, what else did they forget? My neighbor has a fully intact tombstone in her yard. She calls it, "Our New Yorker." He was a pioneer from New York. Although she jokes about it, she confessed that she got holy water from a church and poured it over the top. I am starting to think that I should do the same thing.

It was like people were hanging out in my house, but I couldn't see them. Like trying to sleep with someone watching you. Or, trying to sleep with the lights on. They weren't mean or unfriendly just there. I've felt them before with Zack home but somehow I was able to ignore them better. Friday night was a haunted, sleepless night. I am glad that I've got a full house again.

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My Baby

"This is MY baby. This is MY baby," I repeated over and over in my head right before each wave to push consumed me. The urges were so strong that I felt like I could loose my breath completely.

The sun shown bright and I listened to the neighborhood children play outside as I labored calmly in my birth tub. I had wonderful rests between surges where I listened to birds and dosed off to sleep. My doula whispered, "You are having a beautiful birth, Thais."

I was, but I also struggled with doubt the whole time. I was scared that I might not be able to pull it off. Even when West's head had crowned, I thought that he would get stuck and

Maria

would have to transport me to the hospital for another cesarean. And then, the hospital would have birthed by baby not me. But somehow, I managed to overcome those doubts right before each surge with my simple chant, "This is MY baby." Sometimes I would say, "Let's just get through this next one. Just one more."

The realization that only I can birth my baby in the way that I want was an on going theme for me throughout my pregnancy. People that I felt dependent on and wanted at my birth didn't work out for one reason or another. Even Maria had to go lobby in Washington on my due date, and I had to come to terms with the fact that she might not be there for the birth. Luckily, West came when she got back. I am so grateful for that.

For my first son's birth, subconsciously, I always thought that I'd be saved like Cinderella is saved from her evil step-sisters. I assume that it is a cultural message ingrained in my psyche since I was a little girl. It's important to have support, but the reality is that only the Mama can birth the baby. It is hard to be alone on such a hard journey, but the belief that I could do it and my two years of preparation allowed the baby to come. I pushed as hard as I possibly could. I wanted him to arrive protected at home and in peace.

"This is MY baby," I chanted over and over again to myself. And I did push him out. He came right out like he should. It took only one hour of pushing after seven hours of active labor. Baby West was born at home on a gorgeous, sunny day. His demeanor is as peaceful and calm as the way that he joined us. And, he is so loved by me and so many others who have followed my recovery from my first son's birth to the discovery and actualization of a home birth with my second. When Maria put him on my chest, I rejoiced, "I did it! I did it!"

Kara

, my doula, cried with joy next to me as she listened to my reaction. I feel so powerful. Birth really is empowering.

As I celebrated holding my new baby in my arms and watching him nurse perfectly without any instruction. Maria said, "Now that is an unmedicated baby." After a brief celebration, Maria was looking serious again because I still had not birthed my placenta. We waited an hour and tried everything from angelica root, to nursing, to a shot of pitocin. Finally Maria had to make the decision to call 911 and have an ambulance transport me to UCSF. I needed a manual removal of the placenta. It was only Maria's fifth ambulance transport in her 23.5 years of being a midwife. Four of the five transports were placenta related.

Maria can perform the procedure herself, but since I had had a previous cesarean the chance of hemorrhaging was too risky. The procedure at UCSF was short and I was back at home shortly afterward. I am happy to have had a good hospital experience rather than one of a victim. It was a necessary part of my healing.

As Maria and I waited for Zack to pull the car around in the quiet lobby of the hospital at midnight, she said, "This is what home birth is all about, it's a collaboration with the hospitals. We come to them when we need their services and we only use what we need."

Please join the MAMA Campaign to help lobby to include Certified Professional Midwives in the Obama's Health Care Reform bill.

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Born at Home! Welcome home baby West.

All went well and I had my beautiful baby at home on my side of the bed. I used the tub but it wasn't where I chose to birth my baby for whatever reason. I was in active labor for seven hours and pushed for one hour. He latched on right away and I had a glorious hour with him before I had to go to the hospital for a manual removal of my placenta. The procedure was short and I was back home in bed with my baby shortly afterward. I feel like the hospital experience was a vital part of my healing, but I am glad that it was a short and relatively easy visit.

I am writing a more detailed birth story for this blog and

Maria

's blog. It will still be abbreviated. I really need to write a book to cover the full two years of my experience.

I am sure happy to be on the other side and to have had a successful and joyful birth experience. What a load off! Time to move on but not from the home birth community; I am here to stay.

West weighed 8lbs. 10 oz. He was 21 1/4 inches long. And, had a head of 13 3/4 circumference.

More about my home birth journey

here

.

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Midwifery and Health Care Reform

Three San Francisco midwives are going to DC this week to speak with key Senate staffers from Boxer and Feinstein's offices about how Certified Professional Midwives can be an important solution to the difficulties with American maternity care. Obama's three health care reform principles include: reducing costs, guaranteeing options and providing affordable, quality care to all Americans. Midwifery can do all three!

Here are two videos taken at Maria Iorillo's home to help promote Midwifery in Health Care Reform:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4atqJNTmPrs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeYQrDzB2lY

Subscribe to the Mama Campaign to support the purpose. Numbers of subscribers is important when lobbying.
http://www.mamacampaign.org/

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2008 San Francisco Department of Vital Statistics for Birth

These are the official Mode of Delivery rates for San Francisco Hospitals in 2008.

The Categories are

Primary (first baby)
C/S (cesarean)
Repeat C/S (repeat cesarean)
Forceps
Vacuum
Spontaneous (natural vaginal birth)
VBAC (Vaginal Birth after C/S)

This is the percentage breakdown based on total births at that hospital.

This is public information.
Hospital
Primary Cesarean
Repeat Cesarean
Total Cesarean




CPMC
20.6%
10.3%
30.9%




Kaiser
24.2%
7.5%
31.7%




SF General Hospital
11.8%
8.8%
20.6%




St. Lukes
11.5%
9.0%
20.5%




UCSF
18.8%
8.2%
27%






Hospital
ForcepsVacuumSpontaneous



CPMC
1.8%7.6%58.5%



Kaiser
02.7%64.7



SF General Hospital
1.1%4.6%72.8%



St. Lukes
.4%3.4%75.7%



UCSF
4.3%3.1%64%




Hospital
VBAC





CPMC
1.3%





Kaiser
.9%





SF General Hospital
1.9%





St. Lukes
.1%





UCSF
1.7






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Are you scheduled?

My due date is tomorrow and I can't believe that what inspired me to write a post tonight is induction of labor. Since I am looking fairly large, many people ask me, "When are you due?" I say, "Tomorrow." And, they say, "Oh, are you scheduled?"

By scheduled, I am assuming that they mean scheduled for induction of labor. I am truly surprised by the number of people who ask this question.

How did this become the socially acceptable response?

Why don't people say things like, "Oh that's wonderful, best of luck for a healthy baby."

As I write that phrase, I think to myself, "Of course, people must say that nice cliche phrase. "

Sadly, they really don't. Instead when they hear that my due date is tomorrow, their eyes pop out of their head and they look at me in dread and fear. They can't believe that I am at my son's swimming lesson or the grocery store or walking the Lyon St. steps.

Why do we react this way?

It is not beyond me that I am sheltered from our mainstream world of fear-based maternity care. If I were receiving care from an OBs office right now, I would surely be pressured to schedule an induction date or rather in my case a cesarean date (induction shouldn't be done with VBac mamas). I am so happy not to have that pressure and to be allowed the time and space to have my baby when my baby is ready to be born. I am certainly ready as most women are at 40 weeks. I hope he comes soon.

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38 weeks: Birth Tub and Love





























I am in a sweet spot of my pregnancy where everything is bliss. The seas are calm. I've had two nights this week of five to six hours of sleep without waking up. My birth tub is set-up and ready. I have been feeling practice labor every night from 7-11pm. I am ready and settling into waiting for baby West to join his family on the outside.

During Shavasana today, I had a practice contraction and it actually felt pleasurable. I hope that I can relax that much during labor to have an enjoyable experience. At least, I got a small glimpse of how that might work. I just can't wait to hold baby West in my arms. I want to feel him all wet and slippery with Vernix and watch him play with us for that brief hour of alertness before he goes to sleep for two weeks.

When I think of the name West, I think of hope. Traveling to the West into the unknown in search of a better life. I think of openess, vast space, and surrendering into trust, love, and kindness. All these qualities remind me of the characteristics of the sacred faminine and all our female spiritual leaders. Why would we name a boy West if all I think about is female qualities when I think of his name? Well, I can't imagine a better world than a world where yin and yang are once again equal and peace is with us all. When I think of the baby inside of me, I think of a soul with a great purpose in this life and I am honored to get him here.

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37-week Home Visit

Maria Iorillo

, my home-birth midwife, came over to walk through our home to get a sense of the space where my baby will be born. We have to move a couple pieces of furniture; but otherwise, we are ready. All our supplies are labeled and in the birth room (our sun room/baby's nursery). I love this picture of Mikey listening to the baby's heart beat during my check-up.

Mikey crawled in between my legs multiple times reenacting birth. He was born by cesarean so maybe it's how he knows birth to happen through images that he has seen. Or, maybe he is acting out how he would have liked to be born. Maria suggested that I watch a movie called "What Babies Want." She said it has video clips of the same behavior that Mikey was doing while I was laying on the bed. Sort of interesting.

I had false labor last night. I thought that I'd have a baby this morning but no such luck. Zack's picking up the birth tub today so we'll be having a hot tub party in our sun room tonight to give it a test run before the big event.

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An Account of a Home Birth Prenatal Appointment

Imagine never waiting in a waiting room for a prenatal appointment. Imagine entering the exam room and seeing a comfortable couch to sit on. Imagine never being asked to undress and wear a paper gown. Imagine never having to sit on an exam table waiting for your care provider to finally knock on the door and come in. Imagine resting comfortably and completely clothed on a couch and enjoying a pleasant conversation for an hour with your care provider. Now imagine bringing your parents to your appointment. Take it even further and imagine bringing your children.

I'd always go alone when I first started seeing Maria Iorillo for my prenatal care. We have a three-year old and it just made sense to have my husband stay home with him. My first pregnancy, I was use to waiting an hour or more for our prenatal appointments and then only visiting for ten minutes with our care provider. I would write out my questions before my appointment because it was nearly impossible to remember them all under the stress of knowing three other mommies were waiting for their hour late appointments too.

In Maria's office, I never wait. I am greeted right when I walk in the door and sit on a couch across from a small area with wooden toys including a lovely cradle with a baby doll in it. Maria didn't need to say that children were welcome at her appointments.

Right before my third trimester, I started asking the grandparents to watch Mikey so that Zack and I could both go the appointments. As I grew more and more comfortable with my long, stress-free appointments. I invited Mikey's grandparents to come and meet Maria. So one beautiful sunny San Francisco morning Mikey, Mikey's grandparents, Zack and I all showed up for my appointment.

Maria smiled and welcomed the grandparents and Mikey to sit on the love seat next to Zack and I. She didn't ignore them and continue with her routine appointment with us, but instead said, "When grandparents come to an appointment, I like to ask them to share their birth stories." So while Mikey played with the baby doll and peered out the window watching for each Muni train to pass taking its passengers to work. Zack's mom told Maria about the birth of each of her two children at Kaiser in San Francisco in the 70s. Then, Barbara asked Maria a couple of questions about newborn care right after birth and Maria took her time to answer them. I never felt like she was rushing them out nor annoyed by their presence. After about a half an hour, the grandparents left with Mikey and Zack and I finished our appointment with Maria by checking the baby's heartbeat, my blood pressure, pulse, and weight. After that wonderful experience, we now take Mikey with us every visit so that he can be apart of his brother's birth as well.

My other posts on home birth:

On my blog:

http://www.spinachandhoney.com/search/label/Home%20Birth

On SFGate:

Read some of my other posts about birth here, here, here, here and here,and here.

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Big Basin ah-ha moment

While camping at Big Basin this Winter in one of their awesome cabins, I had an "ah-ha" moment. I was reading their small paper brochure about the park's history and in it was a story about a pioneer family who were the parks first inhabitants. The woman had to give birth to her
children alone because her husband was always off working somewhere
far away and no one lived remotely close to them. The more that I digested her story the more that I realized how simple and perfect birth really is.

Birth is made to happen alone if need be. Clearly this woman was brave to be totally alone, but all women who give birth are brave. But it is reassuring that it can happen and our bodies know how to do it. It is a clean seamless process. Nothing needs to be "done" to you. The process needs to be allowed to happen freely. The umbilical cord doesn't even need to be cut at the end. It will detach itself when it dries up after a
couple of weeks like the stub does that we are all use to falling off our babies.

Processing and thinking about that pioneer woman in the woods giving birth alone to her children was one of the moments that contributed to the success of my home birth after cesarean. I remember thinking. "It's sort of crazy how long it has taken me to filter out all of what I've learned about birth so that I can finally see how simple, natural, and beautiful it is and how terribly complicated and frightening our culture has made it."

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Hiring a Doula

Instead of the obstetrician model of care, I am choosing the midwifery model of care; instead of a hospital birth, I am choosing a home birth; instead of taking the McMoyler Method childbirth class, I am taking Shelley Campbell's hypnobirth class; instead of no doula, I am hiring a doula.

Now that I know what I am up against, I want all the support that I can get. Having a midwife is not enough. I had a midwife for my first birth experience and she wasn't with me the whole labor like I thought that she would be. Most midwives are focused on vitals and technical things. They are very supportive and knowledgeable but work on the big picture rather than working with each surge. I understand this now and respect their role. They save their energy for catching the baby and any emergency that may come up.

A doula's only job is my comfort and to be by my side the whole time with each surge. I understand the difference between a doula and midwife now that I've experienced childbirth for myself and appreciate the importance of each of their roles during childbirth.

My childbirth experience could be fast since it's my second child. I might not need a doula, but I am thinking of it like insurance. If I need extra support to help me through transition or driving to the hospital or any other difficult situation that may arise, I want someone there to help me through it.

Mikey was pulled out of me via cesarean at the final hour, and I think that if a similar situation were to happen, a doula could help me better transition from labor to surgery to avoid some of the trauma that I suffered the first time around. Or she might be able to help me ask for more time to deliver my baby naturally. I now know that the power of birth and the hospital are so overwhelming that any bit of help is extremely valuable and could help to postpone or avoid surgery.

In their book, Mothering The Mother: How a Doula Can Help You Have a Shorter, Easier, and Healthier Birth, Marshall Klaus, John Kennell and Phyllis Klaus summarize scientific studies which have been carried out on the advantages of doula-assisted births.

Benefits from the presence of a doula:

  • Reduced the overall cesarean rate by 50%
  • Reduced the length of labor by 25%
  • Reduced oxytocin use by 40%
  • Reduced the use of pain medication by 30%
  • Reduced forceps deliveries by 40%
  • Reduced requests for epidural pain medication by 60%
  • Reduced incidences of maternal fever
  • Reduced the number of days newborns spent in NICU (neo-natal infant care unit)
  • Reduced the amount of septic workups performed on newborns
  • Resulted in higher rates of breastfeeding
  • Resulted in more positive maternal assessments of maternal confidence
  • Resulted in more positive maternal assessments of maternal and newborn health
  • Resulted in decreased rates of postpartum depression

I want my only job to be birthing my baby. I don't want to worry about what is happening around me. I want my doula to filter out the drama and deliver the truth to me in raw form. I want the information to come from someone that I trust because I don't trust unknown medical professionals like the McMoyler Method taught me to do for the first birth. Her method didn't work out so well for me. I want a doula to help protect my environment while I focus on my baby.

Zack and I interviewed six doulas and they were all wonderful and more than qualified for the job. Each interview happened at 8pm in our living room and lasted about an hour. We didn't have a list of questions. We just chatted with each doula and got to know them. Zack and I liked them all. We wrote down all the things that stood out about each one while doing the dishes after they left.

Each doula has something unique to offer and they are all very bright and interesting people. Britt has had amazing success with hypnobirth and is a prenatal childbirth instructor. Esther was a midwife years ago and has a valuable appreciation for postpartum care. Reise is a Birthing from Within childbirth instructor and prenatal yoga instructor. Spring is an apprentice midwife and massage therapist. Jamae has had two home births herself. And, Kara has attended 150 births. The hardest part will be deciding which one of these amazing women is the best fit for us.

Please share your doula recommendations in the comment section.

Kara Engelbrecht
kara@serpentine.com
http://www.karaengelbrecht.com/

Spring Childers
springcmt@yahoo.com
http://www.thebirthdoula.com/

Britt Fohrman
britt@brittfohrman.com
http://www.brittfohrman.com/

Esther Gallagher
esthergallagher@sbcglobal.net

Reise Tanner
reise@treeinthegarden.com
http://www.seedinthegarden.com/

Jamae
Tasker
mamaladysf@gmail.com

Other resources:

http://www.sfdoulagroup.com/birthdoulas.html

http://www.naturalresources-sf.com/resources.html#birthdoulas

My other posts on home birth:

On my blog:

http://www.spinachandhoney.com/search/label/Home%20Birth

On SFGate:

Read some of my other posts about birth here, here, here, here and here.

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Time Magazine: The Trouble with Repeat Cesareans

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1880665,00.html

I copied and pasted page one of two below:

To avoid another C-section, Barton has to drive 100 miles to deliver in Los Angeles. For many pregnant women in America, it is easier today to walk into a hospital and request major abdominal surgery than it is to give birth as nature intended. Jessica Barton knows this all too well. At 33, the curriculum developer in Santa Barbara, Calif., is expecting her second child in June. But since her first child ended up being delivered by cesarean section, she can't find an obstetrician in her county who will let her even try to push this go-round. And she could locate only one doctor in nearby Ventura County who allows the option of vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC). But what if he's not on call the day she goes into labor? That's why, in order to give birth the old-fashioned way, Barton is planning to go to UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. "One of my biggest worries is the 100-mile drive to the hospital," she says. "It can take from 2 to 3 1/2 hours. I know it will be uncomfortable, and I worry about waiting too long and giving birth in the car." Much ado has been made recently of women who choose to have cesareans, but little attention has been paid to the vast number of moms who are forced to have them. More than 9 out of 10 births following a C-section are now surgical deliveries, proving that "once a cesarean, always a cesarean"--an axiom thought to be outmoded in the 1990s--is alive and kicking. Indeed, the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN), a grass-roots group, recently called 2,850 hospitals that have labor and delivery wards and found that 28% of them don't allow VBACs, up from 10% in its previous survey, in 2004. ICAN's latest findings note that another 21% of hospitals have what it calls "de facto bans," i.e., the hospitals have no official policies against VBAC, but no obstetricians will perform them. (Read "The Year in Medicine 2008: From A to Z.")

Why the VBAC-lash? Not so long ago, doctors were actually encouraging women to have VBACs, which cost less than cesareans and allow mothers to heal more quickly. The risk of uterine rupture during VBAC is real--and can be fatal to both mom and baby--but rupture occurs in just 0.7% of cases. That's not an insignificant statistic, but the number of catastrophic cases is low; only 1 in 2,000 babies die or suffer brain damage as a result of oxygen deprivation.

After 1980, when the National Institutes of Health (NIH) held a conference on skyrocketing cesarean rates, more women began having VBACs. By 1996, they accounted for 28% of births among C-section veterans, and in 2000, the Federal Government issued its Healthy People 2010 report proposing a target VBAC rate of 37%. Yet as of 2006, only about 8% of births were VBACs, and the numbers continue to fall--even though 73% of women who go this route successfully deliver without needing an emergency cesarean.

So what happened? In 1999, after several high-profile cases in which women undergoing VBAC ruptured their uterus, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) changed its guidelines from stipulating that surgeons and anesthesiologists should be "readily available" during a VBAC to "immediately available." "Our goal wasn't to narrow the scope of patients who would be eligible, but to make it safe," says Dr. Carolyn Zelop, co-author of ACOG's most recent VBAC guidelines.

Continue reading here.

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Huffingtonpost reports on Vaginal Births after Cesarian (VBACs)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-paul/childbirth-without-choice_b_168652.html

I copied and pasted the article here:

It would seem perfectly natural that a woman could give birth naturally if she wants to. Guess what? She can't.

An increasing number of hospitals in this country are refusing to offer women the option of delivering the way nature intended, if she had a cesarean section the first time around (and guess what -- chances are she has
because the 31% of all births are now C-sections -- up 50% in 10 years).

I wrote an article in this week's issue of Time magazine called "The Trouble With Repeat Cesareans" on the subject of women's diminishing patient's rights. I won't repeat the story here, since you can link to it here, but will give some of the back story for those who want more:

This was a story I've been wanting to write for a long time. The short version is, doctors and hospitals are no longer allowing many women to have a vaginal birth after cesarean (or VBAC, pronounced "vee-back") because the "medicolegal" costs are too high. Or, as one ob-gyn put it when I asked why she and other doctors no longer allow VBACs, ""It's a numbers thing. It is financially unsustainable for doctors, hospitals and insurers to engage in a practice when the cost of doing business way exceeds the payback. You don't get sued for doing a C-section; you get sued for not doing a C-section."

Now, I think most of us realize that many hospitals are for-profit institutions and that doctors need to make money too, increasingly hard in this era of managed care. It is nonetheless tough to hear a physician talk about medical care in such bare-bones financial terms. So, um, we can't get the most appropriate care because it costs too much? What's especially galling is that VBACs are actually a much less expensive "procedure" (if childbirth can be termed that way) than cesarean sections, which are major abdominal surgery and require days more in the hospital. The costs the doctor is referring to are the malpractice insurance costs passed on to doctors. And those costs aren't even reasonable, but are largely in response to a few high-profile cases of VBACs gone awry dating back 10 years, many of which involved a labor-induction drug called Cytotec, which is no longer used during vaginal births after cesarean.

Meanwhile, according to the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN), out of 2,849 hospitals with labor and delivery wards nationwide, 28% have total outright bans on VBAC and an additional 21% have de facto bans in that they say they'll do it but none of the doctors on staff will do it. That's half of American hospitals, but the numbers are probably much worse. Many of the rest will allow what's often termed "Cinderella VBACs" (a term coined by Henci Goer ) -- "yes, you can have a VBAC as long as you have it Monday - Friday, between 8 am and 5pm and you aren't over 40 weeks and we don't think your baby is too big".

Moreover, even if the hospital allows VBACs, it doesn't mean that all the doctors there are willing or eager to perform them. Take my own case. After I had a cesarean with my first child, I made a point to find a new practice that was VBAC-friendly. (I would have stayed with my first doctor, but my insurance switched, a whole other story). The practice I eventually signed up was very encouraging, telling me that VBACS had a 60-80% success rate and that their particular practiced boasted a 75% success rate. All good. Right?

Except, when I hit the 6 month point, my doctor said to me casually, "OK, let's schedule your C-section now."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh," he said, "You know, you only have a 13% chance of success with your VBAC." He went on to explain that since I had reached the "pushing" phase of my first labor, my chances of a successful VBAC were dismally low and therefore it made no sense to attempt one.

Furious at the bait-and-switch (doctors love, love, love C-sections -- in and out in an hour! No messy labor! No pesky doulas or family members hanging around!), I asked him to produce the study that said so. It turns out that the study, which dated back to 1999, was contradicted by several later studies, all of which showed a significantly higher rate of success -- between 40-60%. One study showed no difference in success rates at all, no matter where the first labor ran into trouble.

The doctor on call when I ended up giving birth on Thanksgiving weekend, was, needless to say, very much put out by my inconveniencing him. His revenge? He refused to talk to me while I was in labor, and didn't answer his pager when I was ready to push. So that's an example of a hospital that allows VBAC and supposedly pro-VBAC doctors for you. The truth is, doctors who are truly VBAC-friendly are few and far between. The good news is, I gave birth, via VBAC, to a perfectly healthy little boy and had a much quicker, easier recovery than I did with my C-section (which was hell, but another story).

I'll end with this story, much more dramatic than mine: After giving birth to her first child via cesarean, Alexandra Orchard, a CPA in Colorado Springs, was told her second baby measured too large to be delivered vaginally. "My doctor said, 'You're not only risking her life, you're going to break her collarbone when you push her out,'" Orchard recalls. Through tears, she scheduled a second cesarean. "I was in so much pain after each surgery that I don't even remember when I met my children." With her third child, Orchard was determined to get a VBAC, but her doctor refused. Orchard researched the risks and with the help of a midwife, labored for 30 hours and gave birth at home to a daughter, now almost two years old. Orchard is apprenticing to become a midwife because, she says, "I don't want my daughter to have to fight like I did."

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Ups and Downs of a Home Birth Decision

One of my journal entries this month started off, "I've made a breakthrough! I can visualize a calm birth." All my fear had lifted and I had total confidence that my home birth was going to be quick and manageable.

Then this week, I had an appointment at UCSF to establish a relationship with them as my backup hospital and all my mental strength turned upside down. Fear crept in again. I cried at dinner that night when I told Zack about my appointment. It was so emotional for me to have a traditional OB office appointment. I've only had three home birth midwifery appointments but the difference in care is quite stark. At UCSF, I interacted with three people and had four inch sweat circles under my arms before I even saw the midwife with whom I'd made the appointment. That's four people poking and prodding; and asking sensitive questions.

A midwife-in-training asked me the reason for my last cesarean. I said, "failure to progress, that is why I am doing a home birth." She asked if I or the baby showed any other signs of distress. I said, "No, it was 11:30pm, I had been pushing for three hours, and the doctor had to be called in from Marin so they didn't want it to get too late." She smiled and said, "well, that's CPMC, pushing for three hours is normal for a first baby."

Even though my appointment was just a meet-and-greet, I was shuffled through the routine visit protocol. I peed in a cup and undressed completely. As I sat in a pile of paper on the exam table trying to hold up the paper that had ripped and was falling off my shoulder, I thought, "No regrets." When the midwife came into the room, she said, "Oh, it looks like we asked you to get undressed unnecessarily. We aren't going to do an exam so why don't you get dressed and we'll just sit down and talk for a bit." The rest of the visit went well until the end.

She explained how UCSF works with home birth patients. UCSF views themselves not as a backup but as a parallel caregiver. I can use their advice line, make an appointment at anytime, go on a hospital tour, participate in their pregnancy classes, check-out books from their library; in the event that I do need to go to the hospital, I don't go into the emergency room, I go straight up to the maternity care center. On the record, the doctors don't support home births, but they do support everyone's right and ability to make decisions for themselves. I felt very welcomed and happy to have this new support group. Then, I ask her what her opinion was on vaginal birth at home after a cesarean.

I had planned to ask this question because I don't want to hide from the other side of the coin. I want to listen to all the information out there because that is what has given me the knowledge and security that I need to make the home birth decision. I was prepared for the, "I don't think it's a good idea" response. Or, at least, I thought that I was.

She was very matter of fact about her response and managed to be quite frank without being at all hostile towards me. Her explanation was about ten minutes long. To summarize, she felt that home births were a good choice for women with no advanced warning of a problem. Having had a previous cesarean is an advanced warning, so she does not feel that it is a good choice. She feels like the choice for a home birth with my scar is emotional. And then, there was a long awkward silence.

I did not reply. I agreed with her for the most part. I know that women in my situation with one previous low transverse scar have a 0.6% chance of a uterine rupture, but the risk of a uterine rupture is the same at a hospital and it isn't any greater then a lot of other complications that could happen to anyone. The difference is that I am closer to an operating room if I am already at the hospital. So really everything boils down to the 10 minute drive to the hospital.

Until 1999 the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists allowed a maximum response time of 30 minutes for a VBAC emergency cesarean. The guidelines have changed since then but are controversial. It remains 30 minutes in Canada. The American Academy of Family Physicians believes that an emergency management plan is suffice.

And then, there is everything else that needs to be looked at when deciding on a home birth after cesarean. And I believe everything else includes the emotional side too. Birth is not just science and statistics. A woman's emotion and sense of security has a lot to do with it. I believe that I stopped my labor when I saw the nurses roll in three carts of equipment after one of them said the baby was coming.

From what I've read, most uterine ruptures are not explosive and unforeseen. Most of them come with a lot of advanced warnings like pain much different from labor pain, vaginal bleeding, sharp pain between contractions, contractions that slow down or become less intense, abdominal pain or tenderness, recession of the fetal head (baby's head moving back up into the birth canal), bulging under the public bone (baby's head has protruded outside of the uterine scar), and sharp onset of pain at the site of the previous scar. I will be closely monitored and taken to the hospital at the first sign of something out of the normal spectrum.

Uterine ruptures are more likely to happen if I am given pitocin, which I could only get at the hospital. And then, there's the risk of another unnecessary cesarean at the hospital which I am guessing is around 16% (my own estimate current rate, 31.1% - optimal rate, 15%). A second cesarean holds risks to me and my baby that are equally as dangerous as a rupture.

The bottom line for me is I only want to go to hospital if I have to. I need to feel safe to have a successful birth. I trust my body to do what it needs to do and I trust my midwife to take me to hospital if she sees any sign of complications.

So, maybe my encounter with UCSF was a blessing in disguise, it made me doubt my decision for a few hours and force me to study everything again and come to the same conclusion again. Home birth.

Reference for list of uterine rupture signals here.

Read some of my other posts about birth here, here, here, and here.

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Excerpt from Artemis Speaks: VBAC Stories and Natural Childbirth Information

Oddly, in a book meant to reach out to me as a pregnant woman; the most memorable part for me was this small excerpt about what it means for me to be a mother. What a great way to explain what I did today: I loved.

The Eastern woman's mind is such that many are completely satisfied with being Mothers. It's as if in the West we forget to valorize "love." What did we do today? "We 'loved', nourished and directed our children." From inside you can see what an accomplishment that really is. To love is to be near what is "real" in our life experience. Western minds want to see a materialization of what has been done but if we watch from our heart we can see that loving has been done but gone unattached and returned to the source: the infinite. Om.

-Letter to Nan, (author) April 4, 1983 from Radha Malasquez, Varanasi, India

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